Cheater Cheater. Pumpkin Eater.

Ever cheated?
Ever been cheated on?
Ever found yourself constantly surrounded by cheaters?

That was what my 2015 was like, I felt like I spent the whole year hearing stories about people being cheated on.
I find it particularly interesting how broad the ‘feelings’ spectrum is when it comes to cheating.

You have some people who can do it daily, no problem. And you have other people who can’t bare the thought of it.

And what pisses me off the most, is how if you surround yourself with cheaters… it can affect you. Even if you’re not the person being cheated on.

That’s what happened to Andy and I, the more relationships we witness falling apart because of cheating, the more we started to become cautious and worried of each other.

How not okay is that?!

And that makes me so mad!
You cheaters are even affecting the loyal ones.
Causing me to think about how easy it can be to pull something like that off.

Ugh… it drives me NUTS!

In my humble opinion (as usual, and not so humble) people who cheat are two things.

Selfish, and Insecure.
Now, this isn’t fucking breaking news… every blogger and their mother has described cheaters with at least one of these two adjectives.

But it’s so unbelievably true, and it’s a concept I just can’t wrap my head around.
If you are looking for someone else’s attention, you are not happy in your relationship. Plain as day.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is any problem with feeling good about being complimented or hit on, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with admiring someone who isn’t your significant bae.

But if you cross that thick, bold, massive line that everyone tries to ignore of admiring and flat out sneaking somewhere to smack lips, you’re a cheater and you have a desperate need for attention.

#sorrynotsorry

If you weren’t insecure, you’d break up with whoever you’re with and move to the next.
But you have the insecure ones out there who need attention from both.
Want to have their cake and eat it too.
Chocolate cake.
Bruce Bogtrotter cake– Matilda style.

The best is the people who try to justify it with,
‘Well I’m just not happy in my relationship’
And then will tell their significant other, ‘i did it because I wasn’t happy’

This is my FAVOURITE.
BRING IN THE DANCING LOBSTERS!

The people who try to blame the loyal one.
The nice one.
The good person.
Good people get cheated on… it’s how the world works.

And then the good people are left with two options.

1) Fuck that asshole, I don’t need that shit in my life… BYE FELICIA
2) What was I doing wrong that made them do that? Why couldn’t I be better? How can I fix this?

The latter causing an endless cycle of trust issues and insecurity.
Isn’t that ironic?
The people who don’t cheat, are the ones who are secure in their relationship.
But the cheaters, the insecure death eaters, pass on their insecurity.

We don’t want your insecurity and your desperation for attention… keep that shit to yourself.

I think the biggest for me is the unknown.
When I was cheated on (not it wasn’t andy, he’s too much of a teddy bear)
When I was cheated on, it wasn’t so much the initial shock that got to me.
I mean, I was mad… and I told him to take a long walk off a short pier..
But, I was just mad. I wasn’t heart broken, or shattered.

Just mad.

It wasn’t until I took the time to sit there and think, that I began to torture myself.
I think the worse, is thinking back on good times.
Times when you looked at him, and you smiled at how beautiful he was.
And then the memory cuts you, cuts you hard in the gut…
Because when you were admiring him, his mind was on somebody else.

And then, you begin to think about the times you were suspicious.
The times you felt off, or weird.
And he’s screaming at you telling you that you’re crazy, and you’re ‘not the same’.

When…
you were fucking right.
You were fucking right the whole time.
And as much as you want to feel satisfaction in being right, all you feel is cutting.
Cutting in your gut.
That punch, that twist.

Cruciatis curse.

And then the final thought.
The thought of being intimate during that time.
Well… well that’s your Avada Kedavra.

The killing curse.
The curse that prevents you from every fully trusting the amazing man that comes into your life next.

The curse that pinches at you whenever you he goes out without you, or  you catch him a lie.

and it never goes away.
All thanks to that selfish, insecure son of a bitch Bruce Bogtrotter who wanted to have his cake and eat it too.

Well.
Attention all people who have ever been cheated on.
I have some good news for you.

No matter what you think you did to make them cheat..
If you thought weren’t pretty enough
Or fun enough
or interesting enough.

If you think annoyed them,
or we’re too clingy.

If they said you were too jealous, or over bearing.
If they said you weren’t in good enough shape for them,
or you bore them to death,
if you didn’t like their friends enough
or didn’t buy them enough gifts.

If they said you didn’t give them enough of your body,
if you felt like you weren’t good enough.

You will always
ALWAYS be a better person then them.

Always.

Peter Peter pumpkin cheater, had a wife but…

She left him.
Left his cheating ass.

You wanted cake, you got cake. Now Eat it.