So you just graduated from school– WHAT NOW? (The What Now Chronicles)

I’m calling it ‘post graduated depression’.

The empty, nervous feeling when you finish school.

The itching, burning, brutally unfortunate reminder that you just can’t be a lazy ass anymore.

Your not allowed to ‘not care’ any more.

As each University year approached (or college if you’re ‘Murican)

You have this amazing buffer zone.

Its like the bumpers they put up when you suck at bowling.

Another year of school is approaching so…

‘I don’t have to think about my life yet! I still have another year of school!’

Well what happens when you can’t say that anymore.

That’s where I’m at.

I’m now living back at home, I have two part-time jobs, I’m barely applying to adult jobs (I’m calling them adult jobs because once you get a full-time job I officially consider you an adult, and I hate you)

and I try to communicate as much as I can with my boyfriend who decided to be an asshole and pack up and leave to Florida so he can become a doctor (I hate you, but I love you)

I’ve recently discovered how unhappy I am.

It was like clock work.

The second I moved back home, away from my friends, away from my life of freedom, and away from my daily pattern I was so used to…

I realized how unhappy I am.

I cry every day, I constantly look like a mess, and I’m perpetually feeling sorry for myself.

For people who love change, you might not have this problem.

But I’m reaching out to those people who are now finished school, and because you can no longer use ‘student’ as an excuse, you officially feel like you offer nothing to the world.

Of course there are the exceptions:

-people who love change (assholes… jk but not really)

-people who have jobs lined up for you immediately after school (I hate you… but like.. congratulations on being successful)

-really strong minded people (assholes…)

-and the ‘perspective people’ who are able to realize that there is so much worse we can be going through, so stop being a baby (I agree with you… but I can’t help how I feel OKAY)

I fall under none of these categories.

And it dawned on me that there has to be more people feeling the way I’m feeling.

Lost.

Confused.

Stuck.

Pressured.

What if i’m not ready to have a full time job?

What if I don’t want to be an adult yet?

What if I make the wrong decision and I end up in a career I hate?

Ja feel dude.

Ja definitely feel.

So I’m making it my goal to get myself happy.

And I’m going to keep you updated as much as I can (whoever you are)

I want to share my achievements, my absolute lows, my up days, my down days, the times where I just feel like giving up, and the times when I’m feeling really motivated.

And hey, maybe literally no one is reading this.

I’m okay with that.

At least I’m doing something to keep me from sitting on my bed crying listening to musical theatre, missing my boyfriend.

So here goes.

Be lost with me.

Stay tuned.

The image used for this blog can be found here: http://weheartit.com/entry/group/48879749